Undertow
by SortItOut
Summary: <html><head></head>Set after Soulmates. Ben and Leslie contemplate risk versus reward. Ben/Leslie.</html>


A/N: First hi people who don't know me. This happens to be my first Ben/Leslie fic because you know they are amazing. This also happens to be the sappiest fluffiest thing I have ever written (my previous fandoms were not fluffy people). The fic starts with introspection but then dives into actual character interaction so that's just a little preview for you. The title is taken from a song by the band Warpaint. I loved being able to write about smiling nerdy semi well-adjusted people. So please let me know if you think I should do it again. Any mistakes are my own since this is beta-less. Enjoy!

**Undertow**

"_Your brown eyes are my blue skies._

_They light up the rivers that the birds fly over." _

_~ Undertow, Warpaint_

"_No risk, no reward."_

_~Steve Guttenberg (Steve Gutenberg's Birthday, Party Down)_

For most of Leslie Knope's adult life she has had the same sleep routine. It starts with her attire. She can only sleep in an oversized shirt and boxer shorts. Whether it's the middle of an Indiana summer, or the iciest part of winter she could never fall asleep with anymore clothing on. There had been occasions where she slept in less, but only when someone was in bed with her, and to her chagrin that was infrequent at best. Other variables that needed to be in place to assure a good night's rest were a giant glass of water, her sound machine set to custom sound of the sizzling cooking waffles makes, and a loose braid to hold her back hair. After all that was in place she would wrap herself in her comforter with no top sheet and spend exactly one hour shutting off her overactive brain. Typically in this hour she thought about her future plans and goals, ideas for the parks department, and occasionally Joe Biden before her brain settled and sleep took over.

Lately her pre bed thoughts were of none of those things. Leslie had been using that hour to think about Romeo and Juliet, The fifth season of Friends, and Paul Higgins her mother's former underling. More unfortunate than that was that these topics were extending her hour of cool down time before sleep into a two or three hour event.

She knew exactly why these three things kept crossing her mind. Romeo and Juliet were the quintessential star crossed lovers, the fifth season of Friends is when Monica and Chandler dated in secret, and Paul Higgins was her mother's former lover before he was transferred to Idaho after it was found out he was having a relationship with his direct superior. It was the only sex scandal Marlene Knope was in that Leslie was old enough to know the details about. They were not pretty. All three situations fictitious or real taught the same lesson, secret forbidden relationships never ended well. Well maybe Monica and Chandler ended well but they were still caught which unfortunately was not an option in her case. Leslie was always a fast learner and she was never the kind of person who had to make her own mistakes. Loving history the way she always had she felt that the mistakes of others were just as valuable of a tool for taking the correct path as making the mistakes yourself, and much less messy. Yet, she found herself night after night thinking about all the ways secret relationships could go wrong and not being able to quell the desire she had to start one with Ben. It seemed for the first time in her life, she knew something would probably end horribly and she wanted to do it anyway. She wanted Ben more than she cared about the potential consequences and it was equal parts scary and exciting.

* * *

><p>Ben Wyatt had been having his own troubles sleeping. His mind at night and frankly for a good portion of the day kept coming up with a single word to sum up his current state of affairs. TORTURE.<p>

Finally getting the balls to go for the girl you had been infatuated with since five minutes into meeting, only to find out the job you just took to stay near her forbids you from doing so. _Torture._

Then after your stupid perky boss tells you can never ask out the girl of your dreams, she immediately asks YOU out. _Torture._

Her asking you out to dinner being the final point on the tipping scale that confirms that maybe she feels a little something for you too and now there is nothing you can do about it. _Torture_.

Watching that same girl kiss someone else, even if it was Tom and half obstructed by a door. _Torture._

Having to hear Tom describe kissing Leslie Knope when you have been obsessing about how her lips (that you just know would be soft and pliable) might feel pressed against yours. _Torture._

Having fucking Tom Haverford confirm to you that she in indeed as good of a kisser as you thought she might be the pinnacle of you guessed it, torture.

Maybe Ben was being dramatic but he didn't care, this whole situation was utter bullshit and he couldn't think of one solution that he wanted to accept. Try to move on? Not likely considering the farthest he had physically gone with Leslie was one hug and he felt more stirring inside him for her than he ever had for girlfriends he had kept around for years.

Say fuck it, and date in secret? He would never want to jeopardize Leslie's job or future and he seriously doubted she would just to date a nerd like him. She loved her job, was great at her job, and she had ambition to do more, to be in public office, to be president, and that ambition was one of the thousands of reasons she was so amazing to him. He just didn't think she would go for it. Even if she did what happened if they were found out? He told her before she wasn't that sneaky. Her attempts at subterfuge were another quality to the list of hundreds that put Leslie Knope in her own category of greatness in his mind but didn't sit well with the idea of a secret relationship.

Quit? He supposes he could do that, but then what? He had spent every year after his Mayor debacle cultivating a responsible respectable life. Quitting his job with no prospects of another was the height of irresponsibility. He would also have to leave government behind because any government positions he took in Pawnee he would be held to Chris's idiotic work rules. Leaving government behind would mean he probably would never hold public office again, another goal he had been working toward since Ice Town blew up his life in a blaze of glory.

The scariest part of all for Ben was he was starting to think he liked Leslie more than he cared about the consequences of doing something reckless with his life.

* * *

><p>So that was the situation that Pawnee's two most adorable nerdiest residents found themselves in. Both Ben and Leslie were teetering on the edge of a kind of abandon they rarely participated in, and neither knew that the other one was just as ready to jump into the unknown depths. That is of course until the night they did.<p>

* * *

><p>For being the sunniest most positive person Leslie has ever met, it's weird to her that in her head Chris is really just an oblivious ass. The oblivious ass that dumped Ann. The oblivious ass that always made Ben play the bad cop. A huge giant oblivious ass that clearly has no idea that she does not have her sights set on Tom. The oblivious ass that is keeping her and Ben apart and now the oblivious ass who thinks it's perfectly fine to pair Ben and Leslie up on a project that is sure to involve late nights at the office. Alone. Together. Alone. Her and sweet, sexy, unattainable Ben. Just a few weeks post her online dating disaster, Chris had given Ben a special assignment to co-lead with Leslie on her second post-Harvest Festival idea, Antiques Road Show Pawnee style.<p>

* * *

><p>The first late night of working alone on the project comes quickly. It is some time after 11pm and Leslie and Ben are tirelessly working at either side of her desk dutifully putting together the tiny details that will lead to another successful joint project. Both parties trying to focus on work but silently wishing they could work on a much more intimate joint project with each other.<p>

"I think three professors from the university would be the ideal number," Leslie stated breaking a small silence that had overcome the pair.

"Really? I budgeted you for five. This is weird. You wanting less on well anything…"

"Confession, five was my original number but I looked into it and it turns out there are only three professors qualified to assign value to antiques."

"That makes a lot of sense. I guess antiques are not exactly the chosen specialty for a ton of professors or well most people in general. Otherwise people would be able to know what is junk in their attic and what are precious antiques that will buy them a new car all on their own."

"I am a packrat." Leslie blurted out.

Leslie had no idea why she constantly felt the need to tell Ben things about herself she had been quick to hide with others. Something about his crooked grin and deep brown eyes just made her want to confess things to him. Simply she supposed she wanted him to know the real her. It was an odd phenomenon for the woman who in the past thought telling a first date she was divorced and had kids was a viable way to start a relationship.

"I know." Ben immediately replied his eyes filled with the gentle adoration they always held when talking to Leslie.

"You know?"

"Tom told me."

"Tom told you. You talk about me with Tom?"

Leslie couldn't help but smile at the thought. Ben on the other hand felt instantly embarrassed. He knew telling her the truth, that for months now he had tried to subtly get any information he could about her from any source he found whether it is Tom or the chief of police to soothe his massive crush on her was not a viable option. So instead he screeched out a quick and transparent denial.

"NO!"

"But you just said…"

"Okay… well… I mean we both work with you…. And well…. You know…"

Leslie felt bad for the guy. She felt like she had way more information than he did about the state of their non-relationship. She knew he had been interested, knew he asked Chris, but he didn't know that she knew any of it. It seemed unfair to him. However, bringing it up was out of the question. So she decided instead to save Ben by a quick subject change.

"Let's play a game."

"What?" Ben asked thoroughly confused but relieved at being saved from explaining himself.

"Well, I was trying to save you from having to finish your thought by changing the subject but it's a lot less effective when you have to explain yourself."

"Game it is." Ben Immediately replied.

"Okay, questions game it is."

"I get no say in what game we play?"

"No Ben, you don't."

Ben smiled widely. He would be okay with never getting say in anything again if Leslie was the one making the choices. The pathetic loving thought passed through his brain before he could filter it. He tried to regain focus on the reality of their situation but it was so damn depressing. So instead he decided to indulge in Leslie's game.

"Alright let's do this." He proclaimed.

"Okay, here is how you play. I bring up a topic, for example favorite pizza topping, and then we count to three and each say our answer."

"Did you just make this game up?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I will start, favorite one term president…"

"One …"

"Two…"

"Three!"

"…CARTER" the pair both simultaneously answered.

They smiled widely at each other. Of course they would have the same answer.

"I've helped build seven houses for habitat for humanity…"

"Can you imagine where we would be in terms of clean energy if the White House had kept its solar panels?"

Leslie and Ben spoke over each other and then laughed as it registered they both chose Jimmy Carter for his humanitarian efforts.

"Great choice Benji. Now it is your turn."

"Okay, um, favorite _Star Wars_ character…"

"Seriously? Ben, come on, like you don't get called nerd enough that is your first question." Leslie light heartedly ribbed him.

"Right, because having a favorite one term president is the height of coolness. You should probably wear a leather jacket, Leslie Knope, professional bad ass." Ben returned his tone equally playful.

"Politics is way less nerdy than science fiction of any kind. Especially science fiction with cuddly teddy bears in them."

"They are Ewoks. Besides _Star Wars_ is really more a blend of fantasy and science fiction…"

"Super nerd. Giant nerd. King of the nerd universe." Leslie taunted.

"You know what is super nerdy, having ink on your face…"

Ben smirked as he noticed that Leslie had just accidentally drawn on her own face with the pen in her hand while she had been animatedly calling him all sorts of nerds.

"What?"

"You just accidentally drew a giant line of ink across your cheek."

"No I didn't."

Leslie stood as she spoke thinking about heading to the nearest mirror even as she denied the lines existence.

"Yeah, you did. It's right here."

Ben got up from his spot and moved to Leslie without any real thought. He leaned in closer to her and rubbed the line of ink with his thumb. It hit them both at the same time how much they were now in each others personal space. Their eyes met for a second before Ben's eyes went down to Leslie's glossy glorious lips. Something in Leslie detonated at the clear desire Ben had written all over his face. She closed the distance between them and then her lips, thankfully, finally met his own.

For a second Ben was too stunned to do anything, but fairly rapidly his lips begin to tenderly graze over Leslie's on their own accord. Leslie's opened her mouth slightly and Ben took the invitation, swiping his tongue softly inside her mouth. Her hands were at the nape of his neck playing with the small hairs that resided there. His hands were around her waist, pulling her closer and closer until one of his legs settled between both of hers. Their hands started to wander, over each others sides, hair, and waist both trying to feel as much as they could as fast as they could. Ben felt like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. In between audible groans and inaudible thoughts about how fucking amazing this all was he realized that Leslie had no clue that what they are doing was against the rules. The thought ultimately made him pull away from the embrace.

"Leslie, we can't do this. Chris has this policy…"

"I know about the policy."

Leslie's breathing is heavy, her lips slightly swollen from their kisses, and Ben doesn't think he has ever wanted anything more than he wants Leslie Knope at that moment. Still he labored on.

"You know?"

"Yes. And I know you asked about seeing someone in government. "Leslie shyly admitted.

"Oh." Ben replied, his brain awash with too much new information.

"It was me… right?" Leslie cautiously wondered.

Leslie all of a sudden had this illogical fear that maybe when Ben asked he_ wasn't_ asking about her. Maybe Ben had asked Chris because he wanted to date Donna, or one of the interns from sewage, or god knows who else, and she had just forced herself on him.

"It's you." Ben immediately replied.

The simple confirmation made Leslie so unbelievably happy she kissed him again. Things heated up in an instant their mouths picking up right where they had previously left off. When that pesky oxygen thing became a problem they reluctantly broke off the contact. Leslie knew that as much as she wanted to just make out with him for well, forever, that they needed to talk about this.

"Ben, I know this is forbidden…"

"Say that again." Ben huskily requested.

The desire in his voice sent a jolt straight through her and when she acquiesced her voice was a few octaves lower than normal.

"Forbidden?"

"God, that's hot."

This time it was Ben who leaned in for the kill. He quickly took Leslie's bottom lip between his own sucking on the flesh a little. With that one move Leslie momentarily forgot all thoughts of taking things out and instead allowed herself to sink into his kiss. Lips, tongues, and just the right amount of teeth mingled with exuberance. When Leslie felt Ben's hands go under her shirt and on to the bare skin of her back all she wanted to do is crumble to the floor with him, let him take her right on the floor of her office like she was in a combination of a romance novel and soft core porn, which really when she thought about it were kind of one and the same. She fought every signal her body was giving her and pulled back from him because deep down she knew they needed to talk about what all of this meant from them.

"You are right. We shouldn't be doing this…" Leslie began.

"I don't want to be right…"

"I know."

"Listen Leslie if this is all… if this… If we… if this is the only time… Fuck, I just need to say this to you. "

Ben immediately got the wrong impression. He was convinced she was telling him they can never do this again. Something inside him at that thought broke. If he could never be with her, she at least needed to know exactly how he felt. For once in Ben Wyatt's life he needed to make his true feeling crystal clear.

"Okay." Leslie hesitantly responded.

Leslie had plenty to say, strategies and plans for making this work, but she would allow him to go first if it meant that much to him. He seemed serious in a way she had never seen from him.

"Leslie, you are like this amazing mix of Princess Leia and Wonder Woman. You are breathtakingly beautiful, strong, sweet, kind, confident, amazing, competent and well… just well… perfect. You are the perfect woman that I thought only existed in my head until I came here and there you were in the flesh. And getting to know you, and being around you, has made me better. It's made me happy, and that is a bigger feat then you probably realize…"

"Ben..."

To say Leslie was warmed by his admission would have been a major understatement. Her whole body was aflutter with heat and happiness at all the amazing things he was saying about her. She felt a desperate need to reciprocate but Ben's desperation trumped her own.

"Please let me finish… I know how much this job means to you, how important maintaining your reputation is, I know you have political aspirations that I am hundred percent confident will come true. You will be president one day Leslie Knope. You can bet your ass I will be the first person lining up at the polls to vote for you. I know all of this and I know that is why we can't do well what we just did a little bit of. But I just needed you to know. You should have no doubt how wonderful and amazing and every other positive adjective I can think of you are. You are just beautiful inside and out. And I am sure I just screwed up by telling you all this. I probably made things impossibly awkward but I just hope things don't get so awkward between us that we can't be friends because I value your friendship so much, and I would hate…"

"BEN! Kiss me again." Leslie demanded her eyes glassy and her voice thick with emotion.

"But…"

It was clear now to Leslie that Ben had severely misinterpreted what Leslie had been trying to say. She had meant he was right they shouldn't be doing this before talking about it. However, with his heartfelt admission he had answered every question and nagging doubt she had about the possibility of them being worth the risk that them being together brought with it.

"Screw Chris. He doesn't need to know. He won't know. We will make sure of it because we have to and we are both amazing at doing what we have to do. His policy is crap on a lily pad. Ben Wyatt you just make me so god damned happy and you are so sweet, and sexy, and nerdy, and wonderful. Not being able to date you knowing that you wanted to, has been torture. I haven't been sleeping. And now, now that I know what it's like to kiss you, the way it feels when you hold me, I refuse to give that up. I refuse. I have never let someone telling me no stop me from something I truly wanted and I am not starting now. Not with this, not with you. So one more time Ben, please kiss me."

Ben needed no more encouragement.

"Wait, unless you don't want to risk it. It's not just about my job you know…"

The nagging part of Leslie, the part that had been dumped in a thousand horrific ways in the past needed to make a thousand percent sure they were on the same page.

"I want to more than anything." Ben replied without a moment's hesitation.

"Really?"

"Really, but are you **sure** you want to?" Ben countered.

"This is beginning to remind me of the _Jungle Book_." Leslie stated with a laugh as she realized her and Ben were going in circles.

"Is it because I am lost man cub?"

"That is exactly why. No Ben, you know the crows that look like the Beatles," Leslie then began quoting in a ridiculously cockney accent, " Whatcha wanna do? I dunno whatcha wanna do? I don't know whatcha wanna do? Up now don't start that again."

"I see your point. Also… you're adorable."

Ben leaned in once more and placed a sweet soft kiss on her lips reveling a little in the fact that he could. He pulled back slowly but kept his arms loosely wrapped around her waist. The intimacy was so new for the both of them that neither could wipe the silly grins off their face if they had wanted to.

"So, I don't know if you know this about me but I happen to make the world's best hot chocolate." Leslie started after a few seconds of goofy contentment in their embrace.

"You do?"

"I do, but well, all the ingredients are at my house. My empty, private, house." Leslie not so subtly hinted.

"Your house?" Ben confirmed swallowing with a nervous anticipation.

"So what do _you s_ay? You up for a glass."

"I have never wanted anything more but Leslie are you sure this is a lot to process for an hour."

"We've waited long enough… For hot chocolate."

"Lead the way."

Ben grasped Leslie's hand and the two quickly gathered their things and walked out of her office. They only made it to Jerry's desk before Leslie felt the need to clarify something.

"Ben, you know I am not really taking about hot chocolate, right?"

"Yes Leslie, I know."

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as they left their work behind for the night. Work could wait until morning but they couldn't…

* * *

><p>Sleep was not a problem for Ben and Leslie that night, safely wrapped in each others arms they fell asleep seconds after their eyes shut…<p>

Happy Sappy Hurray! The End.

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><p>I'd love to hear your thoughts. Review, please.<p> 


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